Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
