my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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