I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize