farters have to be the big spoon...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
