Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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