I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
