Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
