Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have fence marks all over my body
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
