Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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