I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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