dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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