And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
