have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
