I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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