i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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