I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
