You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There was a lot of him and a little penis
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
