so let's talk penis.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
