onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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