I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
