My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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