OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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