Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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