Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
