there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
