Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
