Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
