I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
