let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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