hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
