Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
