how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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