Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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