Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
