i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
A bitchslap is in order.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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