Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
