I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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