your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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