My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
