i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
