Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
