Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
