what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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