eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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