phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
