Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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