The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
