is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.