Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
