They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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