I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
