you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
love makes seman taste better
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
