Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
