i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
