let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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