I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
