...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
