sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
