But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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