did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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