Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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