i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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