I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
